Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
