walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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