It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I think I just sharted jello shots
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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