Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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