theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
