if i died would you start the facebook group?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You need a sexual gate keeper
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
