That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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