I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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