he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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