Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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