people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
