So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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