can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
