sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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