my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize