No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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