We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
