Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
