It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
