Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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