pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
