Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
