Pants 0. Shit 1.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
