Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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