Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My feet surprised me
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