I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
