would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
