she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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