he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize