that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
