Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
