She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
