But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize