11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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