My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
