ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
