I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
