I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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