marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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