you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
