Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
