i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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