He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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