did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
