There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
