i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
