DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
