Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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