Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
