I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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