i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize