would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
