Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
