saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
