Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
