everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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