Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
