No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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