just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
