I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
