I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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