We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
