you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
